Shopping for women (or men) online

Joel: I know, I know, “shop for women” is… off putting. But that’s the best term I can think of. (Your suggestions welcome.) Point being… I look for certain things and I suspect most men do. Crafting your online profile so it creates appeal for the REAL you is one element that will help you succeed.

For me, a major factor is cheerfulness. Does her text and photos convey a happy person? That certainly includes smiling photos. I remember a few that actually looked like the woman was scowling, even angry. I wondered why she posted it.

I also look for women who have pictures of themselves in ordinary situations, without makeup, in casual clothes, exercise clothes (yoga pants welcome!), gardening…. whatever. I conclude a woman who posts unbeautiful pictures has confidence and is happy with herself. What will you post to convey that about yourself?

Christine: I think shopping is the perfect term! In fact, I’ve often said to female clients: Think about looking for and interviewing potential dates (especially when using online dating) as “shopping for men”.

And here’s why:

  • Shopping is often a pleasurable activity for women.
  • Shopping often feels leisurely and calm.
  • Shopping means we have lots of choices.
  • Shopping includes trying out a variety of options so we can compare and contrast to see exactly how we feel about each one.
  • And finally, each of these elements is a good way to bring our authentic selves along (which is essential for successful dating).
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