Joel: Accept what they say at face value until it matters.
For example: He says he has a job. He says he is single.
These only matter when you think you see possibilities and want to continue deepening the relationship.
You can say something like “I read a lot about men who meet women online and they aren’t what they seem. I’d like to pick you up where you live and get tour of your house before our next date.”
Anything other than yes is a warning sign. Could be lots of things including a wife or hoarding.
In that same conversation you could say, what is the name of the company you work for and where is your workplace? Who can I call to confirm you actually work there?
When you get this information, look up the company online and call the posted number and ask for your prospect. Then call back and ask for the other names. There may be some other ways, but you don’t want to date someone more than three times only to find they live under a bridge.
In response, your man may ask for you to verify your information. Tell him if all is as it seems, you will do that, but the risk for women is greater so this has to be done in order.
If he’s not willing, terminate.
Christine: Pay attention to your instincts. You know… that feeling in your stomach that says something like:
- Nervous danger. “Something isn’t right.”
- “I’m concerned.”
- “I just have a feeling.”
- “Stop now; do not pass go.”
The two biggest reasons we don’t pay attention to our instincts are:
- Chemistry. If we feel a huge amount of chemistry in the beginning we ignore our instincts.
- Past history. We didn’t pay attention to our instincts in the past and went out with people who weren’t right for us, then inaccurately blamed what happened on our instincts.
Take a moment and think back to your past dates/relationships that turned out badly. I think you’ll see your true instincts tried to warn you. They were actually accurate.
Your instinct is a superpower. Use it.
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